“this is when the heart spits in your eyes”
she has been here before
where she attempts to lower the walls she has put up,
to get close to someone; to anyone
she has been here before
where she has pulled back as quickly as she forced herself in
close proximity scares her
like claustrophobia,
she fears the feeling of another person getting too close
there must be a name for that fear
she has been here before
where her tears glisten under the shine of her phone screen
as she has been rejected again
she has the desire to have someone in her life
and yet she craves her own solitude
maybe she’ll find a loophole
Tonitizing 